1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,503 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 2 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:07,340 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 3 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:11,344 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 4 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:15,849 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 5 00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,436 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 6 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,106 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 7 00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,861 Mommy! 8 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,654 {\an8}- Duncan! - Duncan! 9 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,786 Stupid hair. Tame, you damn beast! 10 00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:38,580 {\an8} Nice. 11 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,126 Mom, I told you to pick up your stuff. 12 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,377 {\an8}Sorry, sorry. 13 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,049 {\an8}I'm stuff! 14 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,217 {\an8}Mia will be here in 13 minutes. 15 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:55,055 {\an8}It's her first time coming over and I just want the evening to be dope as hell. 16 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,223 {\an8}Is that so much to ask? Dope as hell? 17 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,225 {\an8}Ooh, somebody's nervous. 18 00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,645 {\an8}Of course I'm nervous! This is the only woman I've ever had a crush on. 19 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:04,356 {\an8}What about Mrs. Claus? 20 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,690 {\an8}I was six. 21 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:09,569 {\an8}Why do you care so much about Mia? So she's got a nose ring. Big whoop. 22 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:13,239 {\an8}She's nice, she's smart, she's got a nose ring. 23 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,658 {\an8}I don't know! I just need everything to be perfect. 24 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:20,538 {\an8}Guess who fell into a septic tank? 25 00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,962 {\an8}Baby alligator! 26 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:31,132 Oh, she's here. 27 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,093 {\an8}Hurry, Jack, shake yourself dry. 28 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:35,512 {\an8}Good boy. 29 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:42,185 Oh, Mia. Forgot you were coming over. 30 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,854 No, no, I'm just kidding. Please don't leave. 31 00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:48,274 Hey, Duncan. My parents said to give this to your parents for having me over. 32 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,735 I think they just wanted to prove they own wine. 33 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:54,864 Uh, make yourself at my home in the house where I live. 34 00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:58,243 Oh, someone has a crush on Santa's wife. 35 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,786 She meant nothing. 36 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:04,416 So, Mia, Duncan tells me you move a lot. What are you hiding from? 37 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,334 Have I ever done anything to you? 38 00:02:06,334 --> 00:02:08,753 Duncan's an amazing person! 39 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:11,756 And if you hurt him, you'll have me to deal with. 40 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,968 - I'm just here to watch a movie. - Yeah. 41 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,346 Maybe I won't freeze my eggs. 42 00:02:18,346 --> 00:02:22,726 I heated pizza rolls. Take your pick, ice cold or scalding hot. 43 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,935 Try one, Mia. 44 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,771 They're like little egg rolls with pizza inside. 45 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,189 Yes, I've had them before. 46 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,524 Have you? 47 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:32,193 Oh, Dunkie, I like this one. 48 00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:35,488 So for anyone who's not caught up in the Teen Housewives cinematic universe, 49 00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,657 Brandon is married to Braeyln, who's dating Tylan, 50 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,744 who used to be married to Brendell, and Tamden hates this. 51 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:44,330 And tonight we find out which grandma's gonna raise the baby. 52 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,708 My money's on Grandma Debbie. 53 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,960 Oh, my God! 54 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:52,714 And without further ado, I give you Teen Housewives: The Movie. 55 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,299 Grandma Debbie, Grandma Brittany, 56 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:57,761 Step-Grandma Lindsey P., Step-Grandma Lindsey C. 57 00:02:57,761 --> 00:03:01,181 Tonight, one of you will be chosen to do what you said you never would. 58 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,600 Raise my baby. 59 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,976 {\an8}I hate this. 60 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,812 It's so exciting. They're all equally unfit. 61 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:12,317 The person who will be raising my and Tylan's baby is... 62 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,612 Are you tired of walking on hardwood floors? 63 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,529 Ow! 64 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,699 Or c-c-c-cold tile? 65 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,368 What's happening? 66 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,119 Where did movie go? 67 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,538 Calm down, kids, it's just a commercial. 68 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:29,417 They either have to run these or do subtle product placement. 69 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,629 Ah, the San Francisco treat. 70 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,340 It's Disney . There's not supposed to be commercials. 71 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,885 Actually, I got us the ad-supported model, Disney Minus. 72 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,969 It's cheaper. 73 00:03:39,969 --> 00:03:42,806 Ugh, Mia, I'm so sorry you had to see this. 74 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,432 Then get on Route 17 75 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:48,561 and get to Oakdale's leading carpet dealer, the Ruglord. 76 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:52,524 Say hello to my little prices. 77 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,654 This guy is so lame. 78 00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,031 He doesn't make me wanna buy a carpet at all. 79 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,950 Actually, I deliver pizzas to him. 80 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,201 He's super rich. 81 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,495 We get pizza and we're not super rich. 82 00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:09,416 Do you get cinnamon sticks and a side of frosting? 83 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,001 Whoa! 84 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,210 Frosting? 85 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,838 Dad, why can't we be rich like the Ruglord? 86 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,756 I bet he has Disney . 87 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,717 We're doing just fine, Duncan. 88 00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,885 Mia, the plumbing business is cyclical. 89 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,513 That's okay, Mr. Harris, you don't have to explain to me. 90 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,681 I feel like I do. 91 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:27,267 If you're gonna marry Duncan, you need to know 92 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,062 he's not a wealthy boy pretending to be poor to see if you really love him. 93 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,981 Again, just here to watch a movie. 94 00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,316 Dad, if you did a commercial like the Ruglord, 95 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,777 you'd be rich and our lives would change forever. 96 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:40,530 Duncan, your father works his butt off for this family, 97 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:44,075 and yes, it doesn't add up to money and things, 98 00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,910 but there's a lot of ways people can be rich. 99 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,245 Don't you agree, Mia? 100 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,538 Oh, I'm still a part of this? 101 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:52,334 Sure, yeah, uh, you could be rich in family and in health. 102 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:55,170 But the Ruglord's house has a bowling alley! 103 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,630 I'm not normally impressed by shallow extravagance, 104 00:04:57,630 --> 00:05:01,551 but bowling from the comfort of your own home? 105 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,348 Dad, please make a lame-ass commercial. I'll even help you. 106 00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:09,726 - You'd do that for me, son? - Sure, just for you, nobody else. 107 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:12,270 I don't know. Commercial acting is hard. 108 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,023 GEICO's gone through so many geckos. 109 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,860 First, you get the carpet pad, then you get the carpet. 110 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:21,529 Then you get the warranty. 111 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:25,200 On the other hand, it would be fun to sit in a bathtub full of rugs. 112 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,289 Jack, I don't wanna say, "My bridge club is coming over." 113 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,667 Can't I be a more contemporary woman? 114 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:37,337 I've been living with these characters since I wrote the script over breakfast. 115 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,172 You've got to trust me. 116 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,883 Settle, everyone. You paid for five minutes of studio time, 117 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,969 and by the time I'm done saying this it'll be four. Places and action. 118 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:51,518 Oh, no! My bridge club is coming over, and my toilet won't flush. 119 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:55,230 That's because you called those other guys. 120 00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,356 {\an8}Glug, glug, glug. 121 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,817 {\an8}Did you try plugging it in? 122 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,778 {\an8}I am drunk, and you're paying for it. 123 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:07,951 Step aside, traditional homemaker, and let Cap'n Clog save the day! 124 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:11,871 This looks like the work of the Gunkwad. 125 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,457 Not the Gunkwad! 126 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,377 - Yeah, I'm not doing this. - Cut! 127 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:20,005 - Why not? - I'm a piece of poop. 128 00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,339 You're not poop, honey. 129 00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:26,136 You're an amalgamation of all the gunk that wads in people's pipes. 130 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:29,639 Hair, keys, goldfish, criminal evidence, 131 00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:32,934 and those little belly button nubs that fall off newborns. 132 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,186 All stuck to a giant piece of poop. 133 00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,564 Ninety seconds and I've got Rudy the Rat Killer coming in. 134 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,648 Let's go. Come on. 135 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:41,526 Red leather, yellow leather. Red leather, yellow leather. 136 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:45,530 Duncan, this was your idea because your night with Mia wasn't "dope as hell." 137 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,198 Do you want me to be more successful? 138 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:50,493 Or we can just go back to living our happy and humble life. 139 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:52,912 Welcome home, Mrs. Harris. 140 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,041 We're living in the camper? Where do we shower? 141 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,959 Oh, we just use the watering can. 142 00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:01,504 - It's not so bad once you get used to it. - I will never get used to this. 143 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,714 I'm leaving you, Duncan. 144 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,885 The Ruglord has a teenage son, and he invited me house bowling. 145 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:12,015 Why didn't I do Dad's commercial? 146 00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:15,268 All right, now turn over so I can wash your butts. 147 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,854 Um, may I be excused from this fantasy? 148 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,441 Let's film a local commercial. 149 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,569 Not the Gunkwad! 150 00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,405 Cap'n Clog, nice to see poo. 151 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:30,158 Gunkwad, we meet again. 152 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,743 In the flush. 153 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,078 Hi-yah! 154 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:37,457 Ooh, curse you, Clog, and your reasonable prices. 155 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,088 How can I ever repay you, Cap'n? 156 00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:44,631 Venmo. 157 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,469 That is the best thing we have ever done as a family. 158 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,054 So, when do we start getting rich? 159 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,681 You gotta be patient, son. 160 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,641 A good ad campaign takes a long-- 161 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,977 Harris Plumbing. Yes, I'm the guy that defeated Gunkwad. 162 00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,813 Of course, I can fit you in tomorrow. 163 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,106 That depends, 164 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,858 is your garbage disposal making a... 165 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:06,569 Or a... 166 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:09,322 Oh, Oscar. The whole can? 167 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,116 No wonder you're a grouch. 168 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,867 How's two o'clock? 169 00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,540 Oh, yeah, that's it. 170 00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:21,292 Put me on the naughty list, Mrs. Claus. Oh. 171 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,044 Time for work, Gunkwad! 172 00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:27,465 Wha-- Work? But we had a deal. You make the money, and I spend it. 173 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,427 Everyone loves your commercial and is goo-goo for Gunkwad. 174 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:31,553 They all want to meet him. 175 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,430 You're not only the face of this company now, 176 00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:36,808 you're my son and my partner, and I could not be more proud. 177 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:40,520 - Now go put on your poop suit. - It's an amalgamation. 178 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,731 Sure it is, honey. Sure it is. 179 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,276 I've told Mavis a thousand times, 180 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,654 "Don't drink out of the toilet, or one of these days, you're gonna get stuck." 181 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,947 And here we are. 182 00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:56,494 No problem, just gotta grease her up and pop her out. Stand back! 183 00:08:56,494 --> 00:09:00,081 Wow, I can't believe Gunkwad is in my apartment. Can I get a picture? 184 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:02,667 Why? You see me every day at school. 185 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,170 This is different. You're a mascot on TV now. 186 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:09,215 Like Gritty or the Noid or the Pillsbury Doughboy. 187 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,300 He's so happy. 188 00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,596 Well, I think she learned her lesson. 189 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,517 Oh, man! Can I make another appointment? 190 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:25,273 - Here's your problem, Octavia. - However did they get in there? 191 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,526 She put 'em in there on purpose so she could meet Gunkwad. 192 00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:32,822 She hasn't been this into somebody since Richard Simmons went missing. 193 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:36,117 I know he's out there somewhere. 194 00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,287 Okay, Mayor Jen, bathroom's all set. 195 00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:42,082 And in the future, I would not flush that many ballots. 196 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:45,919 Well, you and the Turdinator here are really taking the town by storm. 197 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,671 - Gunkwad. - I'm speaking. 198 00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:52,717 Jack, I want you and your mascot to service all Oakdale property, 199 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:56,888 including the Hundred Yard Trough at Oakdale Stadium. 200 00:09:56,888 --> 00:10:01,184 The Hundred Yard Trough? We've had our best father-son pees there. 201 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,019 Work, work ♪ 202 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,771 Diamonds all on my ring, player ♪ 203 00:10:04,771 --> 00:10:06,523 Gold watches, gold chain, player ♪ 204 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,566 Hundred thou' on champagne, player ♪ 205 00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,151 Yeah my money insane, player ♪ 206 00:10:10,151 --> 00:10:11,653 Yeah, I'm making it rain, player ♪ 207 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:13,321 But I was just on the plane, player ♪ 208 00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,073 Buying gear, flying here ♪ 209 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,158 ♪ It ain't what you heard It's my time of year ♪ 210 00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:20,829 ♪ The bigger the bill The harder you ball ♪ 211 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:24,165 ♪ Well, I'm throwing mine 'Cause my money long ♪ 212 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:27,419 ♪ The quicker you here The faster you go ♪ 213 00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:30,213 ♪ That's why where I come from The only thing we know is ♪ 214 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:36,886 - Work hard, play hard ♪ - Work, work ♪ 215 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,431 - Work hard, play hard ♪ - Work, work, uh ♪ 216 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,224 The toilet boys are back. 217 00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:44,769 - And we've got presents. - Yeah! 218 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,105 Presents again, Jack? 219 00:10:47,105 --> 00:10:50,275 I don't know how you're gonna top the one you got me yesterday. 220 00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:53,403 I'm finally making big money now. 221 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:56,781 And this is how people with money say "I love you." With things. 222 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,908 - I love you. I love you. I love you. - Oh! 223 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,870 I didn't forget you, partner, son, best friend. 224 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,622 It's beautiful. 225 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,417 Jack, I love that you're not afraid to splurge, 226 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,420 but I think we should invest our money in more practical things. 227 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:16,343 That's exactly what I was thinking when I named your new boat! 228 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,637 I don't know, Jack, I've always wanted to chop some wake. 229 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:21,014 But can we afford it? 230 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:24,142 They wouldn't have given me a loan if I couldn't afford it. 231 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:25,518 Besides, we work hard. 232 00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,103 We deserve nice boats. 233 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,396 I suppose. 234 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,190 Come on. I made dinner. 235 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,484 Successful people don't eat at home. 236 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:35,612 I'm taking you all to Mapplebee's. 237 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:38,073 - Mapplebee's? - On a Saturday night? 238 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,949 But none of our coupons will work. 239 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,078 Oh, I'm tight with Big Travis, the guy that works the door. 240 00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:45,163 He's a huge Gunkwad fan. 241 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,540 And got us a table. 242 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,126 Daddy, can we take the boat to Mapplebee's? 243 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,586 I don't see why not. 244 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,716 Thanks for asking me, Duncan. 245 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:59,177 When we hit that pothole, and the water sprayed in my face, 246 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,970 it felt like we were really on the ocean. 247 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:04,140 And may I say, you look absolutely "radishing" tonight. 248 00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:06,393 You mispronounce the sweetest things. 249 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,690 Park this away from the riffraff. 250 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,066 But I am the riffraff. 251 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,150 Good for you. 252 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,195 You have to wear that? 253 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,948 It's this or wait in line with all the other suckers. 254 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:23,034 Yo, Big Travis. 255 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:24,744 Gunk, looking good! 256 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,121 Feeling good. 257 00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081 One, two. Reverse. Okay. 258 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,207 Table's ready. 259 00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:32,127 The popular girls. 260 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,546 Hi, Kimberly, can we sit with you? 261 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,715 Sure. You let me sit with you at lunch-- 262 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:40,301 Oh, wait, no, you don't. Enjoy the patio in three hours. 263 00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,220 Big Trav, you're letting them in? 264 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:44,639 Rashida Jones and I have been waiting for an hour. 265 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:47,892 No disrespect, Amy Poehler, but they're the new hotness. 266 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,769 It was a good commercial. 267 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,022 Remember when Gunkwad went down the toilet? 268 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,523 Yes. 269 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:56,943 Yeah, that was classic. Okay, we'll wait. 270 00:12:59,904 --> 00:13:01,781 Unlimited breadsticks? 271 00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,784 Everywhere I've gone before, they've been very strictly limited. 272 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,871 Get used to it, baby. You're out with the Wad now. 273 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:11,332 Ooh, I've never gone past page 16 before. 274 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:15,962 Get used to it, baby. You're out with the Wad now. Of cash. 275 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,173 I'll have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. 276 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:19,841 Would you like a side of lobster with that? 277 00:13:19,841 --> 00:13:22,260 Hell, yeah, I'm gonna get a side of lobster with that. 278 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:25,305 I'm gonna get a full lobster. Oh, and a side of lobster. 279 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,140 The lobster does look pretty fresh. 280 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,479 I'll get the Tex-Mex shrimp, the official Tex-Mex shrimp of the NFL, 281 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,064 and a side of lobster. 282 00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,899 God, you are hot when you're hungry. 283 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,817 I know we hang out a lot, Duncan, 284 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,403 but this is kind of our first real date, isn't it? 285 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,488 Yeah. 286 00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,657 If you don't count that time you had to carry me to the nurse's office. 287 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:48,244 I don't. You've been so busy with all that Gunkwad stuff. 288 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:49,329 What's it been like? 289 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,582 Uh, I barely have time to shower, which is awesome. 290 00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:55,752 Same old Duncan. Wanna share a rock-hard breadstick? 291 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,171 I've dreamed of you saying that to me. 292 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:00,924 - Mmm. [chuckles] Mmm. - Mmm. 293 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:05,261 Gunkwad! Come do a pic with us. 294 00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:09,349 Uh, I'm so sorry, Mia. I'll be right back. This is the worst part of the job. 295 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,185 Wad Squad, what up? 296 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:17,107 So, nice picture, Jing, but you colored the grass blue. 297 00:14:17,107 --> 00:14:18,525 They don't have a green. 298 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,486 If you combine the blue and the yellow, you could make green. 299 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,489 If you think you're winning me over, you're not. 300 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,785 Dang! That looks good. 301 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:31,538 I like your nose ring. 302 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:35,667 I've always heard how good success feels, but I never got it until now. 303 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,629 And nothing feels better than sharing success with the people you love most. 304 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:41,715 Aw, Jack. 305 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,758 I love my clients the most! 306 00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:47,345 Drinks and potato skins for everyone! 307 00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:48,972 Yeah! All right! 308 00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:54,436 ♪ For he's a very rich plumber And everyone loves Gunkwad ♪ 309 00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,438 Uh, could you cancel those? 310 00:14:56,438 --> 00:15:00,275 My husband is overestimating the business drummed up by a local commercial. 311 00:15:00,275 --> 00:15:02,694 The gentleman wearing the balloon hat said you would say that. 312 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,905 We're too big to fail, baby! 313 00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,120 So I look at the clog, and I'm like, 314 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:16,416 "Forget a snake, you need a frigging anaconda." 315 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:21,880 It's the third time he's told that story, and I'm still not tired of it. 316 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,840 Gunkwad, dish some biz gossip. 317 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,634 Yes! Who's an on-set nightmare? 318 00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:31,681 Well, I probably shouldn't trash-talk other mascots, you know, but, uh... 319 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,766 We understand. 320 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,059 Okay, okay. 321 00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:37,228 Tony the Tiger keeps yelling how great his cereal is, 322 00:15:37,228 --> 00:15:39,356 but you never see him eat it. 323 00:15:39,356 --> 00:15:40,732 - Ooh. - Oh, my gosh. He's right. 324 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,025 Did you hear that? 325 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,110 Tony don't even eat the damn cereal. 326 00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:45,612 I heard him! 327 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:49,741 Oh, I've colored all the place mats. 328 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,618 My crayon is worn to a nub. 329 00:15:52,369 --> 00:15:55,455 And I have surpassed the limit on the unlimited breadsticks. 330 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:59,292 So, Mia, why don't we use this alone time to get to know each other? 331 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:00,377 All right. 332 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,713 So, you give out parking tickets? 333 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:08,134 - Yep. And you're a good student? - Yep. 334 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,598 Okay. I'm just gonna say what everyone is thinking. 335 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,058 Duncan and Dad are dicks. 336 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,476 I wasn't thinking that. 337 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,020 Yeah, at least when we were eating pizza rolls at your house, 338 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:20,480 Duncan was eating with me. 339 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,566 Come on. Let's get the speedboat and go home. 340 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,403 Annie, where you going? 341 00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,279 The night is young! 342 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,408 The night isn't young, Jack. It's 7:30. 343 00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:34,619 Besides, you're too busy blowing money on people you don't even know. 344 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:39,165 We're working, Annie. Everyone in here is a potential customer. 345 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,793 Yeah, Mom! Do we look like we're having fun? 346 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,045 You're holding a limbo bar. 347 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,591 People want a plumber they feel they can party with. 348 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,801 What about you, Mia? 349 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,679 I don't know. You wanna stay and party with the Wad? 350 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:56,975 We could hold hands like we were about to do before my fans whisked me away. 351 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,935 Sorry, Wad. I'm gonna go. 352 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,063 But thanks, I had a lovely first date with your little sister. 353 00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,816 Good night, Jack. 354 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,735 Oh, for crying out-- 355 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,782 You're pushing it, fella. 356 00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,955 Mia's not responding to my texts. I'm pouring my heart out here. 357 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:24,127 Don't worry. All will be forgiven when this next commercial blows up. 358 00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:27,047 You know how the song goes, "Mo Money Less Problems." 359 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,674 Are you sure we haven't turned into jerks? 360 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,343 Absolutely not. 361 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,262 You saw me coming! 362 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:38,933 Say hello to my little prices! 363 00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:40,560 And cut! 364 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,979 That's a wrap on Ruglord. 365 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:45,857 Whoa, Ruglord. 366 00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:49,069 Gunkwad! I am such a fan. 367 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,863 - And I am Cap'n Clog. - Okay. 368 00:17:51,863 --> 00:17:53,782 Ruglord, can I ask you something? 369 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:56,618 How do you balance work and relationships? 370 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,871 Also, how do you make it look like the rug is firing bullets? 371 00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:01,414 Oh, the rug is easy. 372 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,708 I have real machine gun inside of it. 373 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,252 But I fail miserably at relationships. 374 00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:11,049 Being the Ruglord cost me my wife, my girlfriend and my side piece. 375 00:18:11,049 --> 00:18:13,843 But you're famous and make so much money. 376 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:16,638 We've heard about the cinnamon sticks. 377 00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:20,475 There are only so many cinnamon sticks a man can eat alone. 378 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:25,146 Hey, are you guys doing anything tonight? 379 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:27,691 I have a bowling alley in my house. 380 00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:30,568 We can type funny names in like we're good friends. 381 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:33,113 - Oh, geez! Tonight? Sorry, man. - Oh, geez. Tonight? Oh, shoot. 382 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,906 Gunkwad, Cap'n Clog, to the set. 383 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:36,324 Oh, thank God. 384 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:40,161 Looks like it's just you and me, Shaggy. 385 00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:46,668 And the person I want to raise my baby is Grandma Brittany. 386 00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:49,754 I can't because I'm pregnant. 387 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:53,633 Oh, she wasn't throwing up from the vodka. It was morning sickness. 388 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,970 - I shouldn't be watching this. - Pause it, pause it, pause it. 389 00:18:56,970 --> 00:19:01,766 Annie, you gotta see our new commercial. Gunkwad dies, or does he? 390 00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:02,851 Sit, sit, sit. 391 00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:06,855 Pizza for you. 392 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,858 Oh. Would you mind putting it on the coffee table? 393 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:13,319 You're lucky it's policy that if you ask, I have to. 394 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:22,871 Any last words, Gunkwad, before I send you to Satan's toilet? 395 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,457 I just have one thing to say. Mia. 396 00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,791 Hmm? 397 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:31,338 I got so caught up on playing a giant turd on TV, I became one in real life. 398 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:34,466 I'm sorry. All I wanted to do was impress you 399 00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:37,635 and maybe get to hold your hand, or you could hold my hand, 400 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:39,471 or, I don't know, anything with our hands-- 401 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,223 But no, not that-- Can I do another take? 402 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,439 Mia's an amazing person. 403 00:19:49,439 --> 00:19:52,484 And if you hurt her, you'll have me to deal with. 404 00:19:53,068 --> 00:19:55,195 And I just wanna go back to the way things were, 405 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,946 with me barely providing for our family, 406 00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:00,116 and using our Mapplebee's coupons on Tuesday nights. 407 00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:03,661 Oh, Jackie, you financially reckless fool. 408 00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:07,999 Promise you'll never try to impress me again, 'cause when you do, 409 00:20:07,999 --> 00:20:10,710 you do it in really weird and off-putting ways. 410 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:14,422 Don't worry. My days as the Wad are over. 411 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:16,549 Goodbye, gross costume. 412 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:25,016 The fumes are having a... ...delightful effect. 413 00:20:25,016 --> 00:20:28,019 I don't think I should be inhaling this. 414 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:31,940 Anybody else feeling like you don't give a rat's ass about anything? 415 00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:35,402 I sure don't care about that $3,000 bill from Mapplebee's. 416 00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:36,486 Mapplebee's. 417 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:40,865 That's a funny name, isn't it? Mapplebee's. 418 00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:42,992 You guys are crazy. I don't feel anything. 419 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,954 Which one of you is Duncan? 420 00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,040 Kris, stop it! Nothing happened! 421 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,125 - Mary. - Hmm? 422 00:20:50,125 --> 00:20:52,002 You haven't aged a day. 423 00:20:57,716 --> 00:20:59,592 This is awesome. 424 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,345 {\an8}I can feel the wind in my cavities. 425 00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:05,181 {\an8}Duncan, you are my boat friend-- Best friend. 426 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:07,017 {\an8}Nope I'm going back to boat friend. 427 00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:09,185 {\an8}This baby really handles the chop. 428 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,271 Whoa. Why did we stop? 429 00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:13,023 {\an8}End of the line. 430 00:21:13,023 --> 00:21:16,401 {\an8}Can't we just drive to Miami and shoot a rap video? 431 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:19,279 {\an8}Yeah, Mavis and I haven't used our parasail yet. 432 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:23,033 {\an8}Sorry, I got better things to do than drive a bunch of kids around. 433 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,618 {\an8}You know, he used to be Gunkwad. 434 00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:27,287 {\an8}Gunkwad? Hang on, kids. 435 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,872 {\an8}We're catching the freeway.